The Secret Of Being Content

Philippians 4:10-23

Introduction

In a few weeks we will celebrate Christmas. One of the things that happens at Christmas is the giving and receiving of gifts. This matter creates some stresses in our life. It is sometimes hard to know why we give a gift, is it out of a sense of duty, or friendship, or do we sometimes do it to obligate the one we give something to? How do we feel about receiving gifts? Are we expecting them? Are we thankful? How often do we receive gifts with a sense of guilt that now we need to return something? Are we able to give and receive gifts purely as a way of expressing friendship? How do we respond to the many gifts we receive when we really don’t need most of the things we are given? This whole matter of gift giving also seems to reveal a rampant materialism. This week a 28 year old youth pastor confessed in a group I was part of that his generation was very materialistic and that Christmas was revealing that grasping desire. It is amazing that in this season of the year when we think about the greatest gift ever given, a gift given out of the purest motive of love; we are struggling with selfishness and greed and wrestling with our discontent.

As we come to the last message in our series on Philippians, I want to remind you of the theme which has permeated this letter. It is a theme of a three way friendship between Paul, the Philippians and God. It is in the context of this friendship that, in the last section in Philippians 4:10-23, Paul reflects on his personal experience of having received a gift from the Philippians. His reflections help us think about some things which I hope will help us to enter this season with a more Christ-like way of giving and receiving gifts and also a more Christ-like contentment.

Giving And Receiving

Giving Because You Care

Paul has an interesting way of referring to the gift he has received from the Philippians. He says in verse 10, “I rejoice…that at last you have renewed your concern for me.”

One of the interesting things about this is the history of giving and receiving that he had with them. In verse 15, he talks about how in the past they had shared with him. Now, they have once again shared with him. Somehow in the time in between, which may have been a considerable time, they had not sent him any gifts. He makes it clear that he understands that the reason they did not share with him was not because they didn’t want to, but because they did not have the opportunity.

Another interesting thing is the word he uses to speak about this. He says, “you have renewed your concern…you have been concerned.”

In verse 14, a similar idea is communicated when he says, “it was good of you to share in my troubles.” Paul was in prison at this time. In those days, when people were in prison, they were not supported much by the state. They didn’t have TV’s in every room and three full meals each day. They survived better in prison if they had support from friends and people outside of prison. By giving material things to Paul while he was in prison, they were sharing with him in his troubles. They were supplying his material needs and also encouraging him in this difficult time.

We give gifts to people for many reasons. Sometimes we give in order that we will get something in return. Sometimes we give because it is expected and we don’t want to disappoint. Surely, however, the best reason to give a gift to someone is the reason which we see illustrated here and that is because of genuine caring and friendship. The Philippians loved Paul and he loved them and they expressed that love in giving and receiving gifts. The gift giving did not only go one way because in verse 15, Paul speaks about “giving and receiving.” At this time, they gave him a gift, but he had given them the gospel and would share many other good things with them. What a great model of giving – to give out of genuine care and love for a person.

Giving Thanks For A Gift

Although the words, “thank-you” never came out of Paul’s pen in this letter, that may be because of cultural expectations. One writer says, “Thank-you was not a part of social convention between friends. Friends do not need to directly say “thank-you” for it to be received. Rather it is said indirectly as here.”(Gordon Fee)

There is no doubt that Paul was thankful and the idea of gratitude for their gift permeates the words he speaks. In verse 14 he says, “it was good of you.” In verses 15 and 16, he speaks about how they had given to him before. This is a way of acknowledging their friendship and the care they have shown. Pointing at a reputation is a good way of affirming a person and expressing appreciation, and that is what Paul did here.

Another expression which approaches thanksgiving is in verse 18 where he acknowledges that the gift that was sent certainly helped him. He says there that “I am amply supplied.”

A further expression of gratitude is that he recognizes that the gift is a “fragrant offering to God.” Using OT sacrificial language, he describes their gift as something given to God and pleasing to God.

In the end of the passage, Paul gives glory to God for this whole experience and so expresses gratitude to God for the gift.

So although he does not say “thank-you” there is no question that thanksgiving was in his heart, and it was not a contrived thing, no formality, as saying “thank-you” sometimes is. There was a genuineness about his gratitude which permeates his heart and is expressed in ways that matter. It is good, when we are thankful, not to just abide by social convention and say “thank-you” because we have to, but rather, to find genuine ways of showing appreciation for a gift that has been given to us.

It Isn’t About The Thing Given

I mention this attitude of gratitude that filled Paul’s heart because there are some things which he says which seem rather strange to us. They make us think that he didn’t seem very gracious. How would you feel if you gave something to someone and they said things like Paul did in verse 11 when he says, “I am not saying this because I am in need” and in verse 18 when he says, “Not that I am looking for a gift.” One could interpret it to mean that he is saying, “I didn’t really need what you gave me” and “I am not really interested in your gift.” But is that what he is really saying?

There are problems that can arise if our focus is on a gift given. Perhaps a gift becomes a habit and isn’t given because you really want to give it, but because you have always given it. Or sometimes people try to buy love with a gift. They give something in the hope that they will be loved. Or, in another situation, you may receive a gift and you express gratitude for it because secretly, in a place in your heart that you won’t even admit, you want the person to keep on giving you gifts.

By saying the things he does, Paul is dispelling all of these poor motives for giving and receiving. He has indicated that he appreciates what they have done, but there is something more important than the gift. The gift is a part of their friendship, but what is really important is the friendship, the relationship he has with them. He loves them and whether gifts are given and received or not, doesn’t change anything in terms of the relationship they have with each other.

Gifts can become a problem in a relationship and Paul does not want that to happen. He puts no obligation on them or on himself regarding gifts. He is genuinely concerned that they continue to share a good relationship with each other. Gordon Fee says, “His joy is over their friendship; and their friendship, he is quick to point out, is not utilitarian, related to what he can secure from it.”

The Blessing To The Giver

As Paul tries to put the gift in a proper perspective so that they understand that he knows that their gift is an expression of their friendship and love, he also wants them to know his genuine heart of love for them.

In verse 17, he says, “Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your account.” By saying this, Paul is thinking about what the giving of the gift will do for the one who has given it. His greatest concern for them is that they become mature in Christ. When they are generous, it shows that they are growing and following Christ. It shows that they are getting it. It is a part of the evidence that God has been working in them.

Another way of looking at this is the recognition that the gift they were giving was an investment in the work of God. Gordon Fee says, “What the Philippians gave as their gift was like an investment which would repay rich dividends in the service of the kingdom, as accumulating interest…”

Paul also encourages them that their giving will never go unnoticed by God. He says in verse 19, “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” We sometimes wrest this verse out of context and make it a promise that no matter what, God will meet all of our needs. It is, as the word “and” at the beginning indicates, a conditional promise. God supplies the needs of those who are generous in their hearts and willing to give away out of their abundance and even more, God is gracious to meet the needs of those who are willing to give out of their poverty, as the Philippians did.

So we also can understand that being generous and giving gifts has rewards. There is the reward of our maturing of faith, the reward of the effect the gift will have in the building of God’s kingdom and there is the promise of God who supplies all of our needs. May we learn the joy of expressing true friendship by being generous so that we too can experience the abundance that comes from God’s grace.

Contentment

Earlier, in speaking about the importance of his friendship with them, he wrote in Philippians 4:11-13, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

Besides pointing to the importance of their friendship over their gift, this is also an important lesson that speaks to the materialism which resides in our hearts.

Content Whatever The Circumstances

I read a sermon by Pastor David Legge. He tells the story of a Lord Condleton, “a godly man, (who) overheard a Christian servant remarking in the kitchen: 'Oh, if I only had five pounds (they were British) I would be perfectly content'. Pondering her statement he decided that he would like to see someone who was perfectly content, so he went to the woman and said that he had overheard what she'd said in the kitchen, and he wanted to do something about it. So he proceeded to reach into his pocket and lift out a five pound note and gave it to her, for which she thanked him very gratefully. Condleton went out the door of the kitchen, and for a moment he paused at the door unknown to her, and as soon as the woman thought he had gone she began to complain: 'Why on earth didn't I ask for 10 pounds?'.”

There are many ways in which we demonstrate our discontent. Now, when Paul is talking about the “secret of contentment,” he is not talking about spiritual contentment. We have already seen that in his spiritual walk he was not content. In 3:12 he said, “Not…that I have already been made perfect…” In 3:14 he said, “I press on…” In other words, he was not satisfied with his walk in the Lord. In this area, he had a holy discontent, and so should we.

However, in the area of his material possessions, he had learned what contentment meant. He had learned the “secret of contentment.”

We understand the need to learn contentment when we don’t have enough. This is very difficult, but we know that it is a good thing. Whenever we don’t have enough, it is easy to complain. Whenever we notice that others have something that we would like and don’t have, we look for ways to get it. In North America, we consume more than most of the rest of the world, and yet we complain. We have certainly not learned the secret of being content, but we know that we should be content.

It may be a little more difficult to understand what it means to be content when we have plenty. Part of this discontent has to do with the fact that even when we have much, we are not satisfied and keep grasping for more. John D. Rockefeller was asked how much money would be enough to him. He thought for a moment, and then he said: 'Just a little more than one has'. Part of this discontent has to do with difficulty enjoying what we do have. Whenever I have much, I begin to feel guilty and I have a hard time enjoying all that I have. Another of the dangers of living with much is the danger it puts us into that we put our trust in what we have, instead of in God. In Deuteronomy 8:17,18, God speaks about the time when the Israelites will enter the promised land and begin to prosper. He warns, “You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth…”

So we think our contentment depends on having or not having, yet whether we have or don’t have we are still not content. We desperately need to learn this secret that Paul has learned of being content in whatever the circumstances.

In the Sermon by Pastor David Legge he writes, “Everybody wants it, everybody strives toward it, everybody thinks they know how to get it, but nobody ever reaches the goal of perfect contentment. Probably the reason for that is that they seek that contentment in the wrong places, and we don't need to look too far to see men and women trying to find contentment in money and possessions and power, prestige and their relationships with one another, and even in the attempt to be free from all difficulties and problems and strains and stresses. Now if those things were the places where contentment could be found, that would be great: but the fact of the matter is, because we live in a fallen world you can never have enough money, you can never have enough possessions or power or prestige, you can never have the perfect relationship, and you can never ever be free from difficulties. Therefore, if that is what contentment is, contentment is unattainable. It cannot be had if it is to be found in those things.”

Dependent On Christ

There were writings in the time of Paul written by the “Stoics.” These writers put a high value on being content, but their secret of contentment was based on self power. They would have said that contentment is a good thing and you simply need to sublimate your feelings and make yourself be content. I think that we often follow the Stoic school of thought on contentment. We tell ourselves and others, just be content with what you have.

That was not Paul’s secret of contentment, however. The secret of Paul’s contentment was that he had learned something. It was not something that came naturally or something that he had forced himself to do, it was something that he had learned. It was not something that one day he just decided to have and then he was content. It took a process of learning. The text doesn’t say how he learned this secret, but the way he writes about it is clear that it took time and that he had to think about it a few times and make some decisions and try again and fail and make new decisions and grow in his understanding until he got to the place where he could say “I have learned.”

So what was the secret? Philippians 4:13 gives us the secret when it says, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” This is another verse which we sometimes wrest out of its context and apply to anything we want, but we need to recognize that it is written in a context - the context of having learned the secret of contentment.

For Paul, and the lesson is a good one for us, the secret of contentment is found, as everything else in Paul’s life, in Christ. It is in his relationship with Christ that he found the means and the strength to be content in whatever circumstance he found himself. One writer points out that Paul transforms “Stoic self sufficiency” into “Christ sufficiency.”

How does such contentment work?

I believe it begins by understanding that God has demonstrated his love towards us by sending Jesus to die on the cross. When we know that we are loved by Him, that our deepest needs have been met by a costly sacrifice, we also know that He will not abandon us in any other thing. Hebrews 13:5 says, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Such contentment is learned as we rest in the promises of God. Matthew 6:26 reminds us, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

Such contentment comes when we recognize that our natural tendency is towards discontent and that we need the strength which is ours in Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to overcome this tendency. When Paul was unhappy with his “thorn in the flesh,” he learned the power of contentment in God when he says in II Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”

So the secret of being content is found in our acknowledgement of the love God has for us and in the recognition of the power God has given to us.

As we have noted, such contentment is something that we need to learn. What can we do to learn it? We can remind ourselves often of God’s love. We can read about the promises of God. We can be encouraged to put our trust in God. We can be generous givers.

What is it we learn about contentment in want or in plenty? One writer says, “Those in ‘want’ learn patience and trust in suffering; those in ‘wealth’ learn humility and dependence in prospering, not to mention the joy of giving without strings attached!”

F. B. Meyer wrote, “All is of God, and God is good. Every wind blows from the quarter of His love, every storm wafts us nearer the harbour, every cup - though presented by the hand of Judas - is mixed by the Father of our spirits. It is not possible for a man to be thrust by his brethren into the pit unless God permit it, and therefore we may say with Joseph: 'It was not you that sent me hither, but God'. Habituate yourself, oh Christian soul, to believe that not only what God appoints, but what He permits is in the sphere of His will. It is His will for you to be full today and to be empty tomorrow, to abound today or to be abased tomorrow' - this is wonderful - 'He has a reason, though He may not tell it to you, and because you know that the reason satisfies Him, you may be content!”

Conclusion

The season coming upon us is loaded with temptations to greed – people wanting more gifts, people subjecting themselves to violence and pain trying to be first in line at “BEST BUY” on Boxing Day morning. The season upon us is fraught with perils related to giving and receiving gifts. Giving and receiving gifts needs to be redeemed and changed because we are “in Christ.” Paul’s example of how to think about gifts given and received and also about what contentment means is a good way of setting these things in a context of being “in Christ.”

May we live and act in such a way as to be filled with the desire expressed in Philippians 4:20 – “To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”