Our granddaughter is so cute when she babbles. She has so much to say, none of which we can understand, but she babbles away just the same. One of these days those babbles are going to begin to make sense and she will learn to talk. When that happens her parents will be very excited. Although I don’t know why! When a child learns to talk, they learn to say “no” and “why.” When they get older they come home from school with words that you certainly didn’t teach them. Later they learn to talk back and it just gets worse and worse with lying and gossip and slander and so on. The ability to talk is a great blessing to be sure, but it is great trouble as well.
What I am going to tell you today is something you all know. But if you are anything like me, you need a reminder that the words which come out of our mouth should reflect that we are followers of Jesus. In fact James 3:2 says, “If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.” That tells us that this is an important topic which we need to talk about from time to time.
Sins Of The Tongue
The Power Of A Word
When I was 15 years old, my dad bought a boat and motor which I really enjoyed. One of my favorite things was when we were about to load the boat on the trailer, my dad would back the trailer into the water and I would bring the boat up to the trailer so we could load it. While he was backing up, I would go for one more spin and, since I was alone, I would go as fast as I could and take as sharp corners as I could. It was a heavy boat, but with one hand I just had to put a little bit of pressure on the steering wheel and the rudder on the motor would turn and I could do the sharp corners I enjoyed so much. It was amazing to me that the little rudder on the motor could so effectively turn the boat.
Those of you who enjoy horses know that these large animals which one needs to have a lot of respect for can, nevertheless, be controlled by reins and a bit in their mouths. You can turn the animal and get it to stop and go all with a little pressure on the reins.
A bit in a horses mouth is a small thing, but can control a large animal. A rudder in the back of a boat is small compared to the rest of the boat, but can control the direction of the boat. In James 3:3-5 we read that the tongue also is a small, part of our body, but has tremendous power. It is one of the smaller muscles in the body and occupies a very small place in our body, but has great power for good or evil.
When we talk about the power of words, we are not talking about the magical power of incantations, but rather the fact that words have great power to encourage when they are words of blessing; great power to influence when they reveal a path and great power to destroy when they are evil. We have been seeing a lot of election coverage in the last few months and every politician knows that the words that are spoken can make the difference between being elected or rejected.
The Sins Of Our Words
I would like to invite us to think a little bit about how destructive words can be if they are evil words. There are a number of different ways in which we sin with our words.
Unwholesome Talk
The Bible uses a number of different words which all relate to the concept of unwholesome talk. Proverbs 4:24 says, “Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.” In Colossians 3:5-8 we read, “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature … Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these…(and included in the list is) filthy language from your lips.” Ephesians 4:29 puts it this way, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths…” What kinds of talking would be included in this category of words?
The most serious “unwholesome” talk is taking the name of God in vain. There is even a commandment about that. The Jews take it so seriously that they do not even speak God’s name. Can you imagine speaking in a negative way about the one you love or about a very important person in their presence? When we make light of God’s name, we destroy our witness. By saying his name in a negative way we show by our words that we don’t really love the one we claim to love.
It saddens me that the media thinks nothing of permitting taking the name of the Lord in vain, but will block out language which is merely crude. I make a distinction between these two, yet crude language also is destructive because by its use something beautiful is destroyed. We would never think of eating food that has started to rot because the beauty of good food has been spoiled, but we don’t have as much of a problem letting rotten words come out of our mouth.
There are other ways in which language can be unwholesome and we always need to ask ourselves, whether the words we use will embarrass others, destroy beauty, destroy relationships or reputations. When it does, that would be language which is unwholesome.
Lying & Deception
We all know that lying is wrong. The Bible has a lot to say about the evil of words that are not true. In Colossians 3:9,10 we read, “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” In a similar way, Ephesians 4:25 also says, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”
These two verses help us understand why lying is destructive and therefore wrong.
First of all, it is an indication that we are still living according to the practices of the old self. Satan is a liar, that is his native language and when we lie, we are speaking the language of Satan and not the language of God, who is the truth and always speaks truth.
The verse in Ephesians gives a powerful reason why we ought to speak truth and that is because “we are members of one body.” One of the symptoms of leprosy is that it deadens the nerve endings in the hands and feet. As a result, people with leprosy can lose the use of their hands or feet due to repeated injury resulting from lack of sensation. When they cut their hand or gash their foot, there is no pain and so often they neglect to care for the wound. Their body lies to them about the pain which they are experiencing and in that way they destroy their own body. In a similar way, when we lie to each other, we deny what is really happening in the body and we destroy the body. Are there times when it is OK or even good to lie to someone? Do we help people when we lie to shield them from hurt? These are sometimes hard questions to answer, but if we are members of one body and care about each other completely and trust each other because we belong to each other, then we need to go with what God says – that the truth will set you free.
Gossip & Slander
One of the most hurtful ways in which the Bible warns about the sins of speech is in regard to gossip and slander. These two are simply different degrees of the same thing. Gossip is saying something about someone else which may well be true, but is hurtful to that person. Slander is saying something which may or may not be true, but is spoken specifically with the intent to hurt. There are so many verses which warn us about the evil of gossip, especially in the book of Proverbs. Each of these verses teaches us about a different aspect of the evil of it.
Proverbs 11:13 says, “A gossip betrays a confidence…” which tells us that the evil of gossip is that trust is broken. In Proverbs 16:28 we read, “…a gossip separates close friends” which teaches that it is evil because it destroys relationships. Proverbs 18:8 tells us the perverse and powerful way in which gossip operates when it says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.” This tells us that we don’t forget what is said and it remains with us.
Source Of The Problem
What A Mess!
As we go back to James 3, we see what a mess is created by the inappropriate use of words. The destructive power of words are described as a spark setting a forest on fire. On two occasions in my life I have been around when a fire got out of control. When a forest is very dry, all it takes is a spark from an exhaust or one match to start a fire which destroys everything in its path. On another occasion, I was very close to a forest fire. We were in a boat and the fire was blazing on shore. I saw flames jump from tree-top to tree-top. I have seen how quickly it can move and destroy. I have also been in situations where we were trying to put out a forest fire and found out that it is very difficult to do. Our words, poorly used, are just like that. They quickly get out of hand, they quickly destroy and the effects of them are hard to reverse.
In James 3:7-8, the writer goes on to describe how every animal on earth can be tamed, but the tongue cannot be tamed. Every one of us knows that this is so. We commit ourselves to using good words, but the words of gossip and slander and backbiting come out anyway.
James 3:9-12 seem to be the words of a frustrated James who almost throws up his hands at the incongruous nature of our words. On the one hand we are in church praising God and out of our mouth come the most beautiful words which declare truth and bring glory to God. And yet how often, before we leave this building, have we used those same mouths to gossip or hurt someone or lie with our words.
This is a serious problem because Matthew 12:36 warns us when it says, “…men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” That sounds like a serious problem to me! We live with the destructive power, the untamed evil and the contradictory nature of the words we use. For those very words we will be judged by God! Where does this problem come from and how can we overcome this great evil?
Where Does It Come From?
One of the lines in James 3:6 says that the tongue is “set on fire by hell itself.” Does this mean that we can blame Satan for our uncontrollable and evil speech? The evil certainly comes from Satan, but we are nevertheless responsible for what we say. We cannot blame Satan when we don’t control our words well. Herb Kopp quoting Ropes says, “the very fires of hell itself ignite the paper-dry fuel of the tongue and everything explodes into flame.” That tells us that our tongue is ready fuel for the evil which comes from it. Satan takes the opportunity to light that fuel, but the problem remains ours and the responsibility remains ours.
Luke 6:45 points to the real source of the problem. It is not simply our tongue and it is not Satan. The problem arises in the evil of our heart. We read, “…the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” The problem is a heart that is corrupt. It is in our heart that jealousy, hatred, anger and insecurity exist. It is these evils in our heart which make it so difficult to stop speaking with evil words.
Strategy For Victory
Winning Ways
Since that is true, if we want to overcome the evil and sin which so easily comes out of our mouth, we do not need to have our mouth washed out with soap. We do, however, need to have our hearts changed.
For the last number of years we have had a problem with animals wanting to live under our deck. Several times I have trapped and removed or killed these animals, but because we live by the river, sooner or later another animal comes along. This summer I worked at removing the habitat where they want to dig under the deck. I put sidewalk slabs on end against the deck and it has worked. They aren’t digging under the slabs. If we work at speech improvement by trying to do better, we will never win. We need to remove the habitat where the evil words reside, that is, we need a changed heart because the problem is in our heart.
I found a very useful list, on a website, of ways in which we can begin heart change. The site had no clearly stated author, but here is what it said:
How to Have Victory Over Sins of the Tongue
1. Grow daily in conformity with the Lord Jesus Christ.
The beginning point is a relationship with Jesus. We cannot change our hearts by ourselves, rather, we need God to make that change in us. That is why we need to have a relationship with Jesus to start with. Once we have begun a relationship with Jesus, we need to continue in that relationship, for it is only by the power of Jesus that we will change.
2. Ask God the Father for provision and protection in this area.
When we are in a relationship with Jesus, we have access to the greatest power of the universe. God the Father is available to help us grow. We can go to Him every day and ask Him to change our heart, to protect us from harmful words and to help us avoid evil speech. Herb Kopp writes about three kinds of sin – sins which happen in the course of life, sins which we find hard to get rid of and sins which arise out of rebellion. What a blessing to be able to recognize that we may sin and we may have trouble with certain sins, but that God promises to change our hearts when we ask Him.
3. Confess this sin each time you are convicted of it.
The primary way for us to develop good habits of speaking is to confess sin quickly after we have spoken inappropriately. When we gossip or hurt someone, our conscience will begin to bother us. When that happens, we must be careful not to learn to live with a guilty conscience. The more we ignore our conscience, the more hardened it becomes and the less we will be able to use it to be a teaching tool. When it bothers us, the best response is to immediately confess our sin to God. Herb Kopp says, “we do well to acknowledge our failures and sins and confess that we are sinners.” But confession to God can serve as a cover-up if we do not also go and confess to those we have hurt.
4. Learn to recognize all of the verbal sins -- some are obvious, some are subtle.
The message I am now preaching is important because we need to be reminded and we need to develop our skills at recognizing when we are sinning with our speech. We can get so used to gossiping that we don’t even recognize when we are doing it. Sometimes gossip is covered up as concern yet it is easy to slip from concern to gossip. If we pray and ask God to help us see when we are crossing the line and when our speech is edging into an area of sin, God will answer that prayer and help us grow in our understanding and in our sensitivity.
6. Keep silent.
It is amazing how many times just being quiet could save us a lot of grief. James 1:19 encourages, “ My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.” It is amazing how often silence is such a good strategy. George Eliot wrote, “Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.”
Words That Bless
Do you know how to get air out of a glass? Fill it with water. The water replaces the air and we now know that there is no more air in this glass. Probably one of the best ways in which we can have victory over the evil of our words is to choose to replace them with good words.
Building Others Up
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” This is one example of replacement theology. If it is in our heart to bless others and we make it a daily habit of doing so with our words, we will be speaking what is good and there will be no place for words that destroy.
Worship
In Ephesians 5:19, 20, we are encouraged to “Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” If the words of worship and sharing what God has done and thanking Him for it are readily on our tongues, we will also find that there is no room for the rotten words.
Conclusion
Proverbs 6:16-19 begins, “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him…” Included in the list of things that God particularly hates are two which relate to sins of speech. If we were to make a list of things which God particularly hates, would we get it right? Would slander and gossip and unwholesome talk and lying be included on the list? According to this verse they are, so rather than dismiss them because we don’t want to deal with them, or give up because they are so difficult to overcome let us keep on letting God change this part of us.
Joseph K. Horn writes in the conclusion of one of his messages on the tongue, “And lest I be accused of unnecessary talk, I’ll now shut up, but not before leaving you with this thought: Talk isn’t cheap; it can cost you your very soul.”